What does Cuadrilla actually do?

What does Cuadrilla actually do?They trumpet the fact that they’re a Lancashire company (they’re not – they relocated to Bamber Bridge from Letchworth) creating Lancashire jobs for Lancashire people. Let’s look at that. They so far have 1 operational site in Lancashire. The main contractor throughout the construction phase was A.E. Yates based in Greater Manchester. Many Lancashire firms refused to deliver materials or supply plant because they don’t want fracking in their county. When drilling started, it was undertaken using a rig apparently owned by KCA Deutag (Dutch company) and was operated by the principal drilling contractor, PR Marriott (Derbyshire company). Now that the fracking process has started, (which, you’ll recall, was to be so superior to anything done in the USA), it is being undertaken by Schlumberger (American company). Claire Perry says that the UK is at the forefront of fracking and that we will export our expertise throughout the world. Mind you, she said this at the same meeting at which she pronounced – presumably also with a straight face – that such export could only happen when there was a clear “Line of Sight to Commerciality.” Such insight doubtless came as a result of “Blue Sky Thinking” and is best achieved by “Drilling Down” whilst looking “Under the Bonnet” before pausing on the “Strategic Staircase” to “Run This Up the Flagpole.” With such convoluted command of the English language, it’s easy to see how she obtained her MBA. Perhaps she seeks to emulate prime minister William Gladstone who Disraeli once memorably described as a “Sophistical Rhetorician, Inebriated by the Exuberance of his own Verbosity.” So by wrapping fracking in such strangled management-speak, Perry intends to repackage an American Ponzi scheme to sell around the world as a British invention which we don’t actually have the indigenous expertise to undertake. So what does British company Cuadrilla actually do?

I just sat down to watch ‘Deepwater Horizon’ on Channel 4. It’s about the oil rig disaster which caused the biggest oil spill in American history. And who do you think the drilling company operating the rig on behalf of BP are?

Schlumberger.

WITH THANKS TO JULES BURTON